Bringing in 2008
Because the sun rises anew each morning, it is sometimes easy to forget that when a day ends, it is forever gone. I like to remind my grandchildren on each of their birthdays about the preciousness of life and living, "You're 6 now. You will never, ever be 5 again." So, I would remind you: 2007 is over now. It will never, ever be back again. 2008 stands beckoning. What do you want to BE, DO and HAVE in the year ahead?
I love this time of year. It is opportunity to evaluate how I spent my year and set intentions for the year ahead. Last year was my year to step into my true self. After a long and circuitous journey - children grown and into their own lives, the ending of my 30 year marriage, moving 6 times in 5 years, and the resulting personal growth such losses bring, I have arrived at a place of gratitude. The re-design has been complete. I will never lose the compassion and lessons of those times because they have changed me at a soul level, AND I step into my future with a new strength and with new tools.
Always, always, always, the question is: "Who am I now?" Who you are is always changing. Every person you meet, every book you read, every conversation you have has the ability to redefine you.
Since 2007 is over and will never, ever, be again, you can use that as a gateway to consciously choose the learning/experiences you want to bring forward into 2008, and leave behind, forever, the things that belong in the past.
The Exploration:
For 2007, write out:
- Your wins, gains and breakthroughs for the year. Don't stop until you get to 100. They can be big things, small things, generous things, selfish things, skills, qualities, ideas, actions, reactions, accomplishments and successes... the things that make you smile.
- How, when, where did you show up powerfully over the last year?
- What strengths do you have now that you didn't have a year ago?
- How, where, when did you play small?
- List your regrets - things you wince and shudder at.
Divide a piece of paper in half. On one half list the things you want to leave behind in 2007 - things unforgiven, misplaced words, tasks not completed, expectations of yourself and others, regrets... those things that make you shudder.
On the other half of the paper list the things you want to take with you into 2008 - strengths you've gained, things you want to try, brilliant ideas, new insights, unfinished projects that you want to complete.
The Ceremony
Make your ceremony as simple or as elaborate as you wish. However you choose to do it, make it memorable and uniquely your own. You can have anything from music and dancing, to a candle and silence. Here are the basics:
- Create two distinct spaces in your home - either two separate rooms, or one room that can be distinctly divided. Two rooms with a doorway between is most effective. Title one section "Leave Behind in 2007". Title the other section "Take into 2008".
- Literally place your lists in their appropriate space.
- At the appointed time for your ceremony, beginning in ‘section 2007' read, speak, or otherwise acknowledge the items you will be leaving behind. Get really clear on them. Re-live them. Stay with it until you feel the emotion of them. Feel their weight. How heavy are they? Feel the impact they have had on your life and self-image, and how they have impacted your ability to relate to others and accomplish what you want to accomplish.
- Now, bid them farewell. As you walk to the threshold between the two rooms feel the lightness that comes with leaving those weighty things behind. They will be ok without you, I promise.
- Now, as you stand at the threshold between the two rooms, focus on the expansiveness, the possibilities that are before you. The Moody Blues song, 'On the Threshold of a Dream' comes to mind. You are stepping into a new year and a new you. What power and strength will you be stepping into? What accomplishments are over there? What will your relationships be like? What is your purpose, now, today, as opposed to last year?
- When you are clear on what you are leaving behind and even clearer on what you intend to step into, make your move. With a flying leap, or quiet resolve, step over the line into the new. Don't look back - that door is closed. Immediately begin to observe 2008 from your new strengths and abilities. You will create 2008 by the choices you make - today and every other day that is ahead of you.
Here are some questions to ponder as you stand anew in 2008:
- What am ready to create that will feed my soul?
- What do I need to believe about myself to know I can have it?
- What aspect of myself do I need to love in order to receive it?
- What will I do to help create it?
- How will I stay inspired when it gets hard?
Pause for a moment and make a list of the wins, gains and breakthroughs you want for yourself in 2008. Write this list in first person as if it has already happened. "I lost 20 pounds." "I spent weekends away from work and went to my kids' sporting events instead." "I cleaned the basement." "I strengthened my friendships." In January of 2009 you can look back on this list and decide again what you want to leave behind and what you want to take into the year ahead.
And those things that are still back there in 2007? Ceremoniously take care of those as well. Make a paper airplane out of them and fly them away. Burn them. Put them in a time capsule to be opened 10 years in the future. Line the bird cage with them. You decide. Do whatever it takes to consciously and energetically be done with them.
The Theme
One last thing I would encourage you to do is to give your new year a theme. Base your theme in reality. It isn't a wish list, but a purposeful label that will guide your actions in the coming year. Last year mine was, The Year of Hope. This year it is, The Year of Individuality - living purposefully from purpose. Viewing life through that window has already adjusted my actions and prioritized my thinking. What window do you want to view life through this year? I'd love to hear your theme if you want to share!
I wish you Happy Designing in 2008!
From the Bookshelf
"I Could do Anything if I Only Knew What it Was"
By Barbara Sher
What a predicament! We're here on the plant to do something if only we could figure out what that something is. Some of us even know, but finding the courage to get it done is a little hard to come by. Barbara Sher points out: "You've stepped back from the exciting opportunities that came your way because you wanted safety. Whatever courage is required to take risks, you're pretty sure you don't have it. You're hugging the shore, but you can't take your eyes off the horizon." If we're here to do something, it probably won't leave us alone until we get on with the doing of it. This books is is an elbow-in-the-ribs kinda book filled with bunches of helpful exercises to move you along your way.
One Thing I Want You To Know About Divorce
By Ruth Urman
Okay, one thing about divorce:
It can feel sad, painful, disheartening and break your heart into a million pieces. Yet the other side of the story is awakening, beautiful and heartening. If it weren't for my divorce, I wouldn't have become the spiritual being that I am. My life is now filled with soul connections, on the most deepest level. My weeks are filled with joy, each time I dance and sing at the Universal Dances of Peace. My divorce has freed me.
I spread my wings and fly. I can simply be whoever I am and it's okay. My soul is alive! My heart sings! My eyes glow. Ahhh, the other side of divorce: A time to reflect, change and let yourself be joyful. Create a new you. Open your heart to the many doors that await you. It's time for discovery, adventure and love.
Blessings,
Ruth
Note from Jeannine: Divorce is a transformational experience. What you do for yourself while in that transitionary phase will make all the difference. Work it right and you come out as Ruth did - with new insights and joy. Work it wrong, which basically means don't do the work, and you will stay in the sad, painful, disheartening, and I will add bitter, place in which you began. Don't do that to yourself! We have a lot of resources to help you make the most of this life experience we call divorce.