Where Am I Going Again?

Since it's July, getting caught in the New Year's Resolution Trap isn't likely. You know that trap where you make up all sorts of rules for yourself, put yourself in jail and then proclaim yourself guilty when you don't do it right? Yuck. We don't want rules. We want the compelling way. There are two ways to motivate: with a carrot or a stick. Let's put down the stick and find the carrot. If you're making up a bunch of rules for yourself, stop it right now, and proceed instead with something useful. That is, discover and live by a motto or theme that will pull you into your future in a powerful way.

(I provided a detailed step-by-step process for discovering your theme in the January newsletter if you're interested in reviewing it.)

Briefly here are the steps:

Spend as much time as is necessary to assess:

• The things in your life (thoughts, behaviors, people, ways of being) that are completed and/or you are ready to leave behind.

• Things that are on the horizon for the next phase of your life. Consider all life areas as you think this through: career, relationships, home environment, health, fun and play, family. What is next in each of those areas?

• Who you will need to BE in order to have those things.

Bid farewell to the things you are leaving behind:

1. Put that which you don't want, have outgrown, or is no longer useful to you on a figurative raft and set it to sea, or soaring to the sky in a balloon, or toss it into a literal bonfire, or use another useful metaphor of release.

2. Honor each particular item, relational dynamic, or way of being that you are setting loose by means of words and/or ceremony, give tribute to the ways it has been useful in the past and/or who you are today because of it.

3. Offer a genuine 'thank you' and bid it farewell.

4. Turn around and step into that which is next for you.

Step into that which is new:

Once you do this, pay close attention to your world. You've gotten rid of the old to make room for the new, which will allow you to see an emerging pattern in the things that catch your attention. Insights may come from TV, billboards, the words of a friend, a song on the radio, a snippet from your journal, lightbulb moments, quiet insights, the sing-song of a child, or a variety of other ways. (I encourage you to make this fun and playful. There is no single right answer or theme for you, and you can change it at any time if it no longer fits.) Once you have identified the essence of your theme, it's just a matter of choosing the wording. (See the January newsletter for the how to's of wording your theme, which does make a difference.)

Your theme will become the lens through which you view the decisions you make and the actions you take. Viewing life through this window will help you choose your actions and prioritize your thinking. That's the part I forgot.

My theme this year is, "Choosing anew – the path with a heart." And yet here I am - still working too much, sitting at the computer too long, not playing enough – things I'd determined to leave behind. I've been making decisions from my old (default) thought patterns instead of letting my heart select (design) the new path. I am glad that life has reminded me once again so I can choose anew.

If you don't have a theme yet, it's not too late. What is possible for you for the rest of 2009? If you selected one in January, maybe it's time for a little tweaking. If you have one and it still fits I hope you will pause to remember why you chose it in the first place.

Here are 5 questions to ponder as you
revisit your theme:

• What am ready to create that will feed my soul?
  

• What do I need to believe about myself to know I can have it?
  

• What aspect of myself do I need to love in order to receive it?
  

• What will I do to help create it?
  

• How will I stay inspired when it gets hard?
  

Those are important questions and I hope you won't just skip over them.

(If you'd like some coaching to further explore, see the Designing Special in the right side bar. You must have completed your "Theme" exploration to participate.)